By Spy Uganda
Ugandans have looked for all sorts of ways to make money and if you didn’t know, one of the easiest ways to make money these days is to accept to be hired to abuse for pay,just like there are mourning companies in Nigeria hired by the bereaved families to mourn and cry loudest on behalf of the family. It’s a very lucrative job in Ogas’ land.
Back to Kampala, hope you know that one of the most juicy businesses in town nowedays is by venturing into funeral services. If you have your dime, the funeral service finds no challenges if you decided that they should keep the body in their refrigeratee store, on in a mortuary, dress and when they bring it for burial, you demand that they should be the ones to lower it onto the grave! All these are possible,thanks to money!
Our reporter has spent some time compiling alist of ‘smart’ Ugandans who abuse for a pay as ameans of survival and they’ve since even acquired a title,’Professional abusers‘. It’s a lucrative job, don’t laugh, you need to look at our list below and appreciate the life styles of the mentioned people then you will know that it’s a lucrative job.
Depending on the instructions given, but most often their victims are normally politicians, religious leaders, businessmen and women, plus people snatching lovers. The list is long but here are some of the most renowned ones, let’s go;
Tamale Mirundi: The former Presidential Press Secretary made himself a name by denigrating all opposition politicians and some government officials he did not agree with. He refers to many of them as ‘Abanyampi’, (one who takes the blame/humiliation intentionally on behalf of their superior when they fart in public) while he often describes a popular media personality in Uganda as ‘Ntwe Ya Pussi!’ (Cat’s head).
From the Kabaka of Buganda, to the Katikiro Charles Peter Mayiga, former Prime Minister Patrick Amama Mbabazi, Labour minister and Kibaale county MP Frank Kagyigi Tumwebaze, former KCCA Executive Director Jennifer Ssemakula Musisi, Rtd.Col.Kizza Besigye, mortal mouthed journalist veteran Andrew Mwenda and several other people have suffered the wrath of Mirundi’s lethal tongue. Infact,the list is endless.
It is said that some politicians have reached ro an extent of facilitating him to bring down their adversaries through his various radio and TV talk shows like ‘One on One With Tamale Mirundi’ on NBS Tv every Tuesday during which he spits venom at any given particular individual, or heaps praises on anyone he sides with, like Bobi Wine and President Museveni.
Luba Kyoya: This one is a radio caller, who is often the first one ever to go through during many local FM stations’ talk-shows. ‘Lubaaa…..Kyoya’ often criticizes anyone he doesn’t agree with, especially politicians both from the National Resistance Movement and opposition parties. Doesn’t matter whether right or wrong, his job is to criticize and humiliate his target for apay.
Kyoya…. doesn’t only criticize but also campaigns for some politicians and word has it that those upon whom he heaps praises on often shower him with incentives like fuel, airtime plus facilitation. On his networks, you will also find his croonies like Maj.Umar ‘Commander’ wa’majje ge’bugoloobi, Ssegirinya Muhamad ‘Eddobozi’ lye’bwahise among othert.
Ashburg Katto: He was once running a popular online TV station called Ghetto TV and often heaped praises on Kyadondo East Member of Parliament Robert Kyagulanyi, until he was reportedly arrested by security forces and later reportedly ‘immunized’ with vaccines worth millions of shillings.
Through his social media platforms, Katto would disparage several NRM politicians but these days he has since turned his guns unto opposition politicians and socialites.
Ritah Kaggwa: She is a veteran blogger based in the United Kingdom, although she has bootlickers in Uganda who feed her on information from Uganda. Through her pseudo online platforms, including a video blog run by Eddy Messiah, Kaggwa is often hired by her followers to disparage and denigrate their adversaries.
Some time back, she also engaged is an online spat with her former lover singer Edirisa Musuuza aka Eddy Kenzo, whose dirty linen she exposed to the public.
Peng Peng: This one is also a social media blogger who is often hired to abuse. Dog-like chained Peng Peng, who is based in Sweden has abused and defamed so many personalities in Uganda to the extent that he cannot even step in his own mother land Uganda for fear of being arrested the moment he touches ground at Entebbe Airport.
Our sources at CIID Kibuli intimated to this reporter on Wednesday that Peng Peng is on top of the wanted list by police’s media crime desk to answer several media related crimes under the Computer Misuse Act.
Bebe Cool: He seems to be benefiting a lot from denigrating and downplaying Kyadondo East Member of Parliament Robert Kyagulanyi aka Bobi Wine. Because of his anti-Bobi Wine well cultulated attacks, Big size Bebe Cool Bba wa’Zuena high calibre nanyini Doboozi as commonly reffered to by his fans will stop at nothing when it comes to spitting venom at Bobi Wine. Infact,on the look, one would say,these are sworn frienemies just like President Museveni and his former personal physician Dr.Kizza Besigye.
At some point in time he even teamed up with socialite Brian Kirumira aka Bryan White to bring down Bobi Wine through verbal attacks though miserably failed, despite having pocketed billions of shillings from State House for the Anti-Bobi Wine project
Bebe Cool seems to know the grips of this strategy so well that during the time he was beefing with the Goodlyfe Crew he hired Eighton and Rain to compose a song in which they dissed Mowzey Radio (RIP) and Weasel.
He later reportedly hired former Gagamel singer Spearman and others to attack Bobi Wine in many of the songs they did. After all his hired abusers failed to do the job well, the ‘Kasipiki’ singer has since taken over the mantle himself and these days he personally goese bare nuckles at any slightest opportunity he gets.
Full Figure: She is currently in bed with the National Resistance Movement (NRM) party. Although Full Figure/ Quarter Figure/No Fegure (whatever you choose to call her will suffice) is currently singing praises for the NRM, she was initially part of Bobi Wine’s People Power pressure group and would abuse anything Yellow,where she got the love for the same colour in 12hrs of the night has left many perplexed.
It’s alleged that ever since she was side-lined by People Power commander, Full Figure has been spitting lava and bile at Bobi Wine, accusing him of all sorts of things. Her attacks against Bobi Wine intensified ever since she crossed to the NRM and was recently hosted at State House, given millions of money, car and an office at Kibuye. She is now,mbu, presidential advisor.
Muhammad Ssegirinya: This one is a Councilor for Kawempe North who has also made himself a name by lambasting all his political enemies and the enemies of his friends or benefactors.
Through various radio and TV talk-shows, Ssegirinya has reaped a lot of fame and material gains by blasting his and his clients’ political adversaries. They currently don’t see eye to eye with Full/Quater Figure.
Nuhu Muzaata: This one is another top class abuser for hire (Five start, if he was a Hotel), who has verbally attacked several people, including those in the Mengo Establishment. However, Muzaata raised eyebrows when he publicly assured celebrated singer Edirisa Musuuza aka Eddy Kenzo to marry his late mother instead of trying to force Rema Namakula to be like her.
It is not yet clear whether Muzaata had been ‘facilitated’ to make such utterances or he had been having adeep seated anger against Eddy Kenzo, but what is clear is that Muzaata has in the past launched verbal attacks against several people, including the Katikiro of Buganda Charles Peter Mayiga during ‘Ettofaali’ project.
Bad Black: This one is a socialite who spits venom and brimstone at anyone she doesn’t like or agree with. However, it was not known that Bad Black is an abuser for hire until she was summoned to the Criminal Investigations Directorate in Kibuli to explain why she was denigrating some very important government officials.
It was during her interrogation that Bad Black confessed that she had been hired and paid to abuse some important people in government. She thereafter regretted her acts and even apologised.
But even after being freed, Bad Black has never quit her abusing prowess and if you want to prove, ask Bebe Cool, Captain Mike, Martha Kay or any other person who had encountered her verbal artillery.
Shantal Ruby Batamuriza: Until she was clobbered to near pulp sometime back, socialite Shantal was one of the renowned abusers in Kampala, who could launch verbal artillery against anyone in our dusty city.
Many people who included politicians, celebrities, artistes, socialites and others tasted the wrath of Shantal’s bitter tongue, until one day when she was taught a lesson in the form of a thorough beating. She has since made attempts at taming her volatile tongue, although in most cases it slips out of her mouth to spit venom.
Watch out for Part 11